How to Make Sex Fun

Hey, guess what?! Sex is meant to be fun.

Yes, we all know that in theory but in reality? For many of us, sex feels far from fun...

The truth is, between work, raising a family, and the myriad of other things that come our way in day-to-day life, sex just feels like a chore.

We also put a lot of expectations around sex being about checking off a box or being a deep form of connection. That puts a ton of stress on making sex something bigger than what we have to offer at the moment.

What if you thought of sex with yourself or your partner as a way to escape the stressors and complexities of life and just be playful?

Think about it: when was the last time you really “played” anything?

Thinking of sex as a way to play can help break us out of the “to-do” list and start tuning into our imaginations and asking for what we want!

Do you remember being a kid on the playground who had endless energy, ideas, and no problems telling the other kids what you wanted to do? Harness that energy again by starting to believe that you are capable and deserving of playtime.

Start by finding time for play in your life.

We get so caught up in the to-do list that we forget to just be. Our creativity and imagination can come to life when we stop placing so many expectations on ourselves.

Here are ways to jumpstart this in your life and in the bedroom!

1. Create time to play in your schedule. All this means is to stop over-scheduling yourself and carve out time to do nothing or whatever the heck you want to do!
2. Cut the expectations around sex being some big event and get creative. Sex is meant to be fun. If it’s not fun then you’re probably not going to want to do it or make time for it.
3. Exercise your voice in the bedroom. In the moment, share what you want! This is a big one I know and if having or using your voice has been a struggle in other areas of your life it will come up here. Get a therapist involved here if you need to!
4. Don’t go after the big “O” and stop when you feel like it isn’t fun anymore. In other words, take the pressure off.
5. Go peruse the online stores or stores in town for toys or accessories that can add to the fun!
6. If you need help with getting your mind going there are apps like Dipsea to help or any other material that gets you going.

Learning to play takes time and many people haven’t played anything in a long time so they don’t know where to start. Creating time to play and trying new things will help you get closer and closer to what works for you. Remember, I’m always here to help!